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The piece is called The Search for the Deep Self.
My own community is my starting point. However everything
that has ever happened in the world began with a single person
responding to their situation. This connection of the personal
with the wider community is also something I want to make
visible and explore. What I mean by this is probably best
explained by telling the story of Bill Wiseman.
Wiseman was the American politician who invented the lethal
injection. This is now the most widely-used form of execution
in the USA. He described his reasons for getting involved
with politics, a decision that ultimately led him to making
this invention in the following way. ‘I thought I could
be very competent as a legislator. Secondly I liked the idea
that it gave me an identity. I have always lived in the shadow
of my father, and it would be a chance to take all these ideas
I have on ethics and moral behavior and do something about
them.’ With this as his intention, Wiseman became a
successful member of the Oklahoma legislature. He loved his
job both for what he was able to do for his community and
because he enjoyed the sense that it gave him of being someone.
During his time in office the question of capital punishment
was debated. At the time no politician who was opposed to
the death penalty could hope to retain their seat. Although
Wiseman didn’t believe in the death penalty, he voted
for it. Furthermore, in order to assuage his conscience, he
concocted the formula for the lethal injection together with
a friend, who, like Wiseman, had no medical qualifications
or experience. It was their intention to make execution as
painless as possible. Ironically, removing, ‘the stench
and pain’ of execution meant far more people were executed
than previously. Over and over again people tried to warn
Bill Wiseman this is what would happen. He said of himself
at this time, ‘I must admit, staying in office became
my top priority. I had an identity, a mission, and all kinds
of recognition. Anything that would threaten that would strike
a dark hidden terror.’ At the time I first read about
Bill Wiseman in 2006 eight hundred people had been executed
using the lethal injection. Wiseman says he feels partly responsible
for every one of those deaths. Bill Wiseman describes living
in the shadow of his father and the dark terror he fled from
in his bid to remain in power. The sense of self he got from
being someone was more important than his pangs of conscience;
more important too than the warning voices of campaigners
and friends. It was so important, in fact, that many have
died and will still die as a result of it. Bill Wiseman has
since recanted from this position and become a dedicated member
of the lobby fighting to outlaw the death penalty. He lost
his seat on the Oklahoma legislature precisely because he
took this stand. His first course of action was driven by
his fear of his own darkness. It led him to act against his
principles and cause great harm. It gave him a sense of identity
but it was a phantom self, a self that led to him betraying
both who he truly wanted to be and the community he was there
to serve. I am interested in the phantom self that he was
and the deep self he became, the self that was able to face
his hidden terrors, renounce power and act out his deeper
values. Explaining his change of heart he said, ‘I am
opposed to the death penalty because of what it does to us
– not what it does to the person who dies. That’s
what it is all about. How it changes and identifies us as
a society when we make a corporate decision to take a life.
All that stuff about how it’s incompetent and unfair,
that’s all very interesting but, but it’s not
the point. The point is we must not do it because it eats
away at our soul.’ Bill Wiseman died in a plane crash
in 2007.
I am shaken by the reality of the power of our own inner struggles
when they are unchallenged and unmet. I am shaken too by their
power to cause ourselves and others harm. I am also heartened
by the possibility that individuals have to face those challenges
and become their deeper self with all the blossoming that
ensues. This is what it means for me to say that the personal
is political. It is the willingness to engage in this process,
something I believe happens over and over again in a person’s
life, something that can never be completed, that lies at
the core of life and my search for meaning. Deborah Ravetz
Concerning collaboration
The longer I lived in Stourbridge, the more people I met who were
also trained artists. The idea that our friendships might result in
a mutual releasing of potential became an essential part of my work.
Jane’s involvement in this project and our growing relationship
are are an unexpected gift.
Deborah Ravetz
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